Neither Present Nor Future
by Nell-Lynn Perera in Creative Arts | 1 Comment | Add your comment

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“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.” ~ Buckminster Fuller

There are many views when it comes to the subject of our pasts.

I’ve often read and heard how the past serves to mostly trouble my future.

I’ve reflected on my past.
I’ve recognised the source of my fears.
Its roots are from my past that I project into my future.
Strangely the one future I have, was subjected to my fears of the past.
How unfair this is.
My poor beautiful future.

Yet I recognise that my past also holds goodness,
even in the not-so-good events that my mind remembers.

Its beauty lies in showing me,
how resilient I am.
How, even when I had fear live in me,
my whole being it took residence in,
it did not conquer me.
I have strength.
When I felt defeated, the past shows me,
I have courage.
Decisions that were wrongly made,
were the right ones then.
I have grown.
I am wiser.

I am still standing.
Breathing. Alive.
In one piece.
In fact, I’m in a piece more complete than I have ever been.
I have my past to thank for this.

Yes, I am of my past,
but I am not my past.
There shall always be a past.
Yesterday, a few hours ago, minutes passed.
As I write this, my past has been created.

The past, it casts its shadows on us.
And like all shadows,
the more distance we are from its source,
the smaller and less relevant the shadow gets.
Shadows offer us many gifts.
The most precious is the choice it gives us.
The choice to walk away from it.

Something the future isn’t able to grant us. Yet.

The choice is ours.

The fact is, shadows,
they only appear where light exists.

“The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.” ~ Leslie Poles Hartley

ABOUT THE COLUMNIST

Nell-Lynn Perera’s favorite past times are writing proses and painting. Being able to connect with people through them has encouraged her to continue doing both with a growing passion. Many times upon reading her poems or looking at her artwork, people assume that she’s living through what she wrote or painted – not necessarily so. She writes to inspire people mostly, even if it’s through a dark piece of writing or art. In life, she’s realized most things are relative. And everything shall pass. This is the beauty of life.

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