Intentions
by Nell-Lynn Perera in Mind+Body+Spirit | 5 Comments | Add your comment

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Intentions. By Nell Lynn Perera
Photographs by Dea Botica (self portraits)

I believe that how I view the world determines the world I live in.
Even in times of despair, I am fully aware of this.

In my world this is how I view myself, others and my experiences;
That I am responsible not for the actions of others, but the re-action towards their actions. I can only be responsible for this if I am living in awareness.

Awareness to me is the ability to see things purely for what it is. My awareness also includes compassion.
Understanding that only my truth is mine. Every single person has theirs. And that truth changes when we do.
That everyone makes mistakes just like I do and if I would like to be forgiven even if I do not ask for it, others probably would like that too.

My biggest achievement would be to have befriended myself. To be able to look at myself in the mirror and see me for who I really am; not how I look or all that my mind would like me to believe I am.
My reflection would say – I know you.
I finally know you.

No, unlike most people, I do regret some of the things that I have done. More so how I did them. If I had a choice, I would still do venture into them again, but venture differently. Today, I have learnt, only because I have chosen to reflect and spend some time alone. I realised that I am not entirely who I really am, what I really am, when I am in the company of others. There seems to be a certain demand on me to be similar to the company that I am with. And part of me is similar. But only a part of me. This is why I treasure my time alone as I am finally with my self. There lies a certain freedom, in aloneness, for all the masks are no longer necessary.

I realise when I have conquered my mind, I would have conquered the world. My world. And that’s all that matters as it is the only world that I live in.

A few days ago I lived a breakthrough. While feeling resentful and hurt over something, I suddenly decided to see it with love and compassion instead. And I saw it differently. Today, when it crosses my mind, it simply passes through. No remnants. Infact, I have difficulty remembering what it was about. I learnt that love never fails me.

I realise when I come from love and compassion, I understand the other. It isn’t a “ I understand but… “. There is no but.

And so I have finally understood the meaning of intentions.
My intentions.

I intend to come from Love and only offer Love.
How it is received, isn’t my responsibility.
It is the world’s.

ABOUT THE COLUMNIST

Nell-Lynn Perera’s favorite past times are writing proses and painting. Being able to connect with people through them has encouraged her to continue doing both with a growing passion. Many times upon reading her poems or looking at her artwork, people assume that she’s living through what she wrote or painted – not necessarily so. She writes to inspire people mostly, even if it’s through a dark piece of writing or art. In life, she’s realized most things are relative. And everything shall pass. This is the beauty of life.

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